September Studio Newsletter
the making of ordinary life
I’m writing to you on a cool, misty late August morning. The mist is rising off the pines down by the brook, and the sun is starting to peek out. We have started to have cooler mornings the past few weeks, and they make me so excited for fall here in the Massachusetts. The knitting urge comes back so quickly once the temperature drops below 70 F (21 C).
My daughter is sleeping on me this morning, she usually has a big nap in the morning and a few short naps in the afternoons. I feel like every day I have to make impossible decisions– will now be the time I eat, get dressed, clean something, do life admin, or will I say no to all of those things and use an hour on something creative, or something that will help further creativity (even if it’s clearing off a work surface in the hopes of working there later). So, there’s no right decision, only a juggling of priorities.
The past three months have been a complete and total joy. Having a child is the most magical, and yet most normal, thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so grateful for the Paid Family Medical Leave which afforded my husband time to be home with us, and which I was able to take even though I’m self-employed.
The quality of Time started to change in late pregnancy, and ultimately transformed with her birth. Three months have passed as a day. I’ve left the regular ticking of clock time and entered dream time. Holidays and birthdays pass as though I’ve just blinked. I know my brain has fundamentally changed in its structure and connections, and I feel it. Who am I now, I wonder? I’m okay with not knowing, for the time being.
I find myself excited about making things still, very much so. Tasks that would usually take me a matter of minutes take much longer now, broken down into very short steps. That’s okay. The rest of my day is filled with her, and the making of ordinary life, and I enjoy it. The crafts are still slowly happening, and maybe for it are all the more satisfying.
I’ve been working on a lot of things simultaneously, as I enjoy doing. I have been knitting, which I discovered I could do while nursing pretty early on, which saved my sanity during the early days of cluster feeding.
I’ve been enjoying using the yarn that I already have, both for the convenience of being able to start a project right away, and of course to “shop my stash”. We will see how much longer I can keep that up without buying much/anything.
Sewing is still less possible for me because it takes so many more supplies and prep. I have many things I would love to be working on, but right now that is mostly on hold. But it won’t stop me from trying to sew her a snowsuit!!
With becoming a parent, my heart has been opened even more to the world, and I believe it’s important to not turn away from the horrors, as mothers in Palestine birth under attack, as children die from gunshots here in the US. The whole world is our own neighborhood, our backyards. The scale of suffering is very intense to take in. I highly recommend this post by author and activist Starhawk: Starving Gaza Will Be Israel’s Downfall. I want to uplift the fundraisers my friends in Magid Ensemble are supporting, here. I have been appreciating rabbi and activist Grace’s posts, which I’ve linked to before.
A line that spoke to me recently, in reference to showing up for justice, is “We may not be able to do everything, but that shouldn’t stop us from doing something.”
I have been thinking about how to restructure these letters as I come back from maternity leave. I hope to write more frequently, and talk about some projects in greater detail. Some of those will be just for paid subscribers. Join here, if you like:
Coming up: fascination with fair isle knitting, thoughts on Northern European babywearing traditions, and some of my must-haves for pregnancy & postpartum.
Links & Recs:
I found one of my favorite writers, Jeanette Winterson, has a substack.
I have been loving Anna Sjösvärd’s youtube channel for cozy, Sweden knitting chats (in English).
Listening to: What We Spend podcast.
Beverage of the month is peach juice + seltzer!! Goodbye August.
Til soon!
xx Lily
